Pregnancy and menstrual cycle awareness - 1st trimester
Image: Ella Jardim via Unsplash
We know that pregnancy stops our bleeding and ovulation, but one thing that hadn’t been so clear to me before conceiving, was the emotional/psyche response that came with losing my cycle. After being so aware of my menstrual cycle for so long, the absence of has been a big learning curve and adjustment. As I write this, I’m at 21 weeks and in my second trimester. Having gone through the first three months, I’m sharing some of my insights with you. Whether you’re pregnant right now, trying to conceive or are a menstrual cycle awareness practitioner, I hope it helps you know what to expect for yourself and/or future clients.
Having a pause in the cycle can be disorientating, especially if you’ve been practicing cycle awareness, and can lead to a lack of self-compassion. For me, it felt like being lost at sea without a compass at first. Having something to anchor and orient towards is helpful whether pregnant or not, and helps to put context into the stage of the menstrual/pregnancy cycle you’re in.
A quick guide to the inner seasons
The Inner Seasons is a framework for relating to the cycle, pregnancy and our lived experience of it. For a more in-depth read of the seasons and their characteristics, head to my blog series on the topic. As a recap, there are four hormonal phases of the cycle that can be likened to the four seasons of the year.
Winter: menstruation and 1st trimester. Winter in nature is introspective, quiet, slow and dark. In the cycle, this is the time of bleeding, or the first three months if pregnant, where we tend to feel those things in our bodies, emotions and psyche.
Spring: pre-ovulation and 2nd trimester. Spring in nature is fresh, dynamic, re-emerging and warmer. This is the pre-ovulatory phase of the cycle when you’ve finished bleeding, or the fourth to sixth month of pregnancy. This is where we tend to feel energy return, bringing a sense of freshness, alertness and readiness to get back into the world
Summer: ovulation and 3rd trimester. Summer in nature is in its fullest expression, flowers in full bloom, there’s a sense of natural abundance and sensuality. In the cycle, this is the ovulation phase, and in pregnancy it’s the last three months. This is where we can feel most in touch with femininity (think full, round pregnant bellies) or at our most sensual, strong and sexual.
Autumn: premenstruation and the 4th trimester (i.e. the first 3 months with your new baby). In nature, this is a time of returning to introspection, slowing down and reaping the harvest and bounty of summer. In the cycle, this is the phase after ovulation, before we bleed, when we tend to feel less sociable, crave stronger boundaries and prepare for pregnancy or the next bleed. In the pregnancy/motherhood cycle, this is when focus on the outer world drops and its all about the new person in your family, literally enjoying the fruits of your pregnancy.
Whilst you can align your lifestyle to the seasons in a 28 day lunar cycle if you’re pregnant to stay in that menstrual rhythm (which you may feel called to do if you’re currently practicing cycle awareness), I’ve found it helpful to have the wider cycle of pregnancy in the forefront of my mind. Why?
Pregnancy is a whole cycle of its own, that’s both suspended outside of, and deeply woven into the menstrual cycle.
The first trimester/Inner Winter
Whilst its widely known that the first trimester can come with symptoms like morning sickness, swollen/tender breasts and/or fatigue, we are not only physical beings. In the menstrual cycle when we have our periods, we might feel demotivated when it comes to work, or crave alone time. We might feel extra sensitive emotionally and mentally raw and tender. Our bodies are shedding the womb lining and its the death of an old cycle, whilst being the start of a new one.
The same is true in the first trimester of pregnancy.
For me, it meant for the first time ever, having absolutely no desire to work at all. Opening my laptop felt like a herculean task and my usually active, creative mind felt dull and stilled. For you, it might be the tiredness that’s all-encompassing and stops you from even being able to entertain the the idea of social time or cooking the simplest of meals for your family. Or, it might be a feeling of mental vacantness, like a constant brain fog. And while it might look like nothing’s happening on the outside in terms of physical proof of your baby, there’s a massive re-orientation happening internally.
Your body is working hard to support the new life growing inside of it, as your little one starts to take shape. Your body is riding the waves of hormones necessary to make this happen and meanwhile, your psyche is adjusting to the reality of what’s happening. Even if your pregnancy was welcome and planned, it can still be a big shock. Because it’s no longer hypothetical, its real. Life will change in a big, big way. And change requires death.
It requires a death of the Ego, a death of certain habits, a certain way of life. The journey of pregnancy is a transition from Maiden to Mother - the end of an old cycle and the start of a new one.
So yes, that might mean laying on the sofa all day long in your cosiest joggers and sweater, sleeping and grazing between bouts of nausea. It might mean little to no intimacy with your partner, a struggle to look after any children you might already have or even to walk your dog. But this is is inner winter.
It’s introspection to allow the adjustment required over the next nine months and beyond to begin. Slowness to conserve energy, redirecting focus from outside to inside, to sustain your growing baby. It’s a death of the old you, to bring the new version of you into the world.
Reminding yourself of this can help you to remember that it is just one season. And even if it feels an awful place to be (let’s face it, the first trimester isn’t the easiest!), there’s the knowledge that it is a cycle, and the next phase will come around. This can help you to allow yourself to move with as much compassion as possible.
Just as we in the menstrual cycle awareness world advocate rest and slowness while bleeding, this is also a tonic for those first three months of pregnancy. Avoiding the reality of what’s happening while bleeding can exacerbate the uncomfortable and often painful symptoms that come with it, and I’m convinced my pregnancy symptoms would have been a lot worse if I had less time to rest and try to give my body what it needed at the time.
How can you prioritise getting extra sleep, help around the house or with childcare? How can you adjust the route to work to help with nausea (e.g. taking a bus with openable windows and the ability to easily hop off if you get really unwell as opposed to being cramped on the Tube with stuffy air and being stuck underground, working from home more or starting a little later in the day)?
It’s important to remember that whether you’re bleeding or pregnant, you are not sick. What you’re experiencing are symptoms of being a cyclical being, in the particular phase of the cycle that you’re in. And it just so happens that you’re in Winter, a phase that needs a certain type of attention and care in order to make sure you can come out the other side feeling hopeful, fresh and motivated.
I’ll be sharing my insights on that next phase soon. In the meantime, if you’re curious about applying menstrual cycle awareness to your life, you can schedule a free 30min call with me or check out my coaching space.