8 things to know about having sex on your period
Image: Dainis Graveris via Unsplash
If there’s one thing that’s still a taboo when it comes to periods, it’s sex. For some, bleeding can feel like the least sexiest time of the month with bloating, pain and an aversion to touch. But for others, it can be a time of huge turn on and craving for closeness. According to a survey by the brand, INTIMINA, four out of ten women said they’ve had period sex and would again, and just 7 per cent said they were interested in it. But what about those in-between?
If you’ve been considering trying it for yourself, here are 8 things to know:
Is it safe to have sex on your period?
The easy answer, is yes, with a caveat. If you’re using a barrier method of protection (e.g. a condom) then this will help to prevent transmission of STI’s. If you’re not using a barrier method, it’s important to make sure you’ve both been tested beforehand. This isn’t really any different to practicing safe sex in general and is good behaviour all round.
Can you get pregnant having sex on your period?
I remember this being a topic of conversation way back at school and the answer is: YES! For pregnancy to happen, you need to have fertile quality cervical mucus (this acts like a magnet and helps the sperm to travel towards your egg). For some people, this can happen while bleeding, though it is rare. Most will finish their period, have a few days of vaginal dryness and then as ovulation approaches, cervical mucus will appear, ranging from a crumbly and/or creamy texture to egg white/watery texture. Some though, won’t have those days of dryness and will go straight from menstruation, to ovulation. This is usually seen in people with a shorter than average cycle.
Your period is actually made up of just 36% blood. The rest is some of your womb lining, other tissue and mucus (though not necessarily fertile mucus). The difficulty is, that you just can’t always see if you’ve got fertile mucus going on or not, especially if you use tampons or pads and never look at your blood to begin with. Something else to remember, is that when fertile mucus is present, sperm can survive in your body for up to 5 days, not just the day you have sex (and yes, they can still survive even if you go for a pee straight afterwards).
If you’re trying to avoid pregnancy, it’s always best to assume that you could indeed get pregnant while bleeding, and use a condom unless you’ve been tracking your ovulation for a while and know your unique infertile pattern.
Why do I feel horny on my period?
If you find yourself aching for sex on your period, you are not alone! While hormones drop during your bleed, one actually has a little surge - testosterone. Testosterone is a male sex hormone that’s linked to libido, and this surge might have you reaching for your partner/dildo/wand/etc.
Society likes to tell us we should feel terrible and keep ourselves locked away because we’re bleeding, and it shouldn’t be sexy. Having your period can make you more aware and sensitive to sensation not just in your uterus, but your vulva too. You might feel ‘fuller’ or experience throbbing and/or pulsing sensations. Your vagina is contracting to release your blood and, guess what? It also contracts during orgasm (and childbirth, which is why some women can feel orgasmic in labour). It’s perfectly normal to feel more turned on during this time in your cycle.
Can sex help period cramps?
Yes, it can! Which could also be a reason why your libido may spike. The contractions and after-effect of orgasm can act like a natural pain relief and relaxant - double win!
Will sex make my period shorter/longer?
The contractions you experience during sex and orgasm might help to encourage your blood to come out quicker. But, equally, you might think your period has finished only to have sex and find you’re still bleeding afterwards. The truth is, having sex to extend/reduce the length of your period might not do very much of anything at all.
Do I need lube for period sex?
My opinion? Yes! If you’ve ever tried having sex in the shower or bath, you’ll probably have found out that water isn’t quite as lubricating as you thought. It’s the same on your period. Yes, it’s fluid, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be enough for sex to be enjoyable. Because oestrogen is low, your natural lubrication level will be lower than normal (despite mucus being included in that 64% of your menstrual fluid). Lubrication is important not just for pleasure (more glide, anyone?), but also for safety, especially if you’re using condoms.
What about the mess?
Let’s just be honest: sex is messy, there’s no getting away from it. If you’re having period sex in the bedroom, you can use a towel or change up your position to one where leakage is less likely (like missionary) or try moving to the shower (remember, lube). Having tissues or wipes nearby can come in handy, too.
Is having sex on your period wrong?
In my opinion, no. It’s no more wrong than having sex at any other time of your cycle. Much of the obstacles will be down to personal preference but sex is a natural (I’d say, necessary) part of life, as is the menstrual cycle - the period included. We know that women have been repressed sexually for generations. We’ve been trained to believe sex isn’t really to be enjoyed, is a duty or is bad if it isn’t linked to creating babies. Add that to religious and cultural stigma about the cycle being the woman’s curse (thanks to Eve eating her apple), and combining sex with the period has become absolute taboo.
If you’re considering exploring your body with or without a partner while bleeding, the main question to ask is : How do I feel about this? (and the same of your partner, if you have one). And then go from there.