Going on a yoga retreat alone
In August, 2013, I found myself sitting on a plane towards the south of France for 6 weeks. In January 2014, it was a plane to India. In February 2015, a boat to the Thai island of Koh Lanta. All three times had something in common: I was alone, and terrified. But when I look back on them, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
One of the things I get asked most often when it comes to yoga retreats is: can I come alone?
People are terrified of turning up somewhere and being left out, feeling disconnected from everyone else and without friends or embarrassed about having nobody to turn up with. So here’s a question: why would you be coming alone? Maybe you’re going through a divorce or a break-up and your default travel-buddy is someone you’d rather not be with now. On the other hand, it might be that you love your partner dearly but want time for yourself. Or time away from being Mum to remember how it feels to just be you. Maybe your friends just don’t get yoga or the point of a retreat. The truth is, most people go on retreats by themselves and most identify with some or even all of those reasons.
Separation and the fear of it is a very human thing and when it comes to yoga and spirituality, we’re vulnerable. We’re maybe facing things that we’ve been avoiding for years. We want to know that we won’t be alone but retreats are a great space for travelling solo. A retreat isn’t just a holiday. A well-rounded retreat is designed to lift you from your everyday, replenish your body, settle your mind and provide you with ample time to get back to your most authentic self.
How real do you feel with your family and friends?
Most of us censor ourselves everyday. We don’t want to hurt others, look stupid, cause arguments, feel odd or make other people feel uncomfortable. When you’re with people who don’t know you, there are no expectations. You’re not Kate, the loveliest woman who never raises her voice, or Sam, the one who puts everyone else first. You’re just YOU. And you get to be you while spending time with other people who want the same thing.
If you ever been to a yoga class, you’ll have experienced how it feels to be supported by a group, to breathe at the same pace. That’s magnified on retreat. The practice goes deeper than a 60 minute class at your local gym or studio and you actually get to know the person next to you. You eat together, take trips together. You laugh together and maybe even cry together. And it’s all held in a safe container with teachers to guide and support both you as the individual, and the group as a whole.
One of the things I honestly love the most about retreats is watching people blossom. There’s always someone who’s extremely shy, who’s quiet, rarely raises their hand or speaks so softly they’re barely heard. But by the end, they’re standing a little taller, speaking with more confidence and integrated. I watched my own little sister stand up and own her space with us on retreat last year and have never felt more proud! There’s an active WhatsApp group of girls from our last retreat who maintain contact, despite living hundreds of miles apart.
For most of us, it’s not easy to truly be ourselves in everyday life. Most of us need that space, to feel free from judgement, to let go and settle into who we really are and feel confident in taking it back into our daily lives. If you’re feeling called to join a retreat, it’s because on some level, you need it. You need that time to replenish and restore your energy. Don’t worry about being alone. We’re so much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for.
“The only thing that stands between you and your wellbeing is a simple fact: you have allowed your thoughts and emotions to take instruction from the outside rather than the inside ”