Menarche: how your first ever period might be affecting you today
Image: Danie Franco via Unsplash
Do you remember your first period? Is it something you recall in detail, or is it a time you can’t quite pinpoint in your memories? Menarche is the moment we get our first bleed, and the direct opposite point in our cycle years to Menopause, which is when your cycle stops. When it comes to looking at your cycle from the point of view of your life, Menarche is an important and powerful moment in the life of a girl/woman that is often overlooked, and can have a lasting impact on your cycle and periods.
A girl’s first period is an important initiation into womanhood.
Unfortunately, it’s an initiation that can go unmarked. Initiations and rites of passage are important because they mark a transition from one state of being, to another. Girl to woman, maiden to mother, even Ms to Mrs. And we have plenty of initiation ceremonies to mark them, though we may not think of them that way. A baby shower marks the transition to motherhood and stepping into life as a parent. Stag and Hen parties are a way to mark the end of single life, to coupleship. Funerals mark the transition from life to death. But periods? We tend not to mark those.
There are heaps of examples of Menarche being celebrated in other cultures and traditions. Amazonian Tikuna girls spend months initiated into the history of their tribe, music and heritage when they get their first period before being sent back out into the world. In Karnataka, India, a girl is adorned in jewels to symbolise her journey to womanhood. But in our culture, the most many get is a a menstrual pad.
Often times, we’re not told about what the menstrual cycle is, other than it being a sign of fertility. We aren’t initiated into the ways of womanhood and this lack of initiation can have a feeling of being ripped from our childhoods. Because we’re not told about the shifting ebbs and flows of hormones and emotions, we can find ourselves in a new world of feeling things that simply hadn’t been there before. If we have mothers, aunts and other women around us who struggle with their periods and describe them as a curse, or experience debilitating symptoms, we can take on a view of menstruation that isn’t actually ours. And, crucially, we are disconnected from the thing that makes us powerful.
There’s a Native American Indian which Lucy Pearce quotes in her book, Moon Time, saying that:
At a woman's first bleeding, she meets her power. In her bleeding years, she practices it. At menopause, she becomes it.
If your period and cycle feel anything but powerful (and let’s face it, that’s the case for many), then looking back at your Menarche can be a very powerful way of righting that. It might sound a bit laa-laa, but science is telling us very loudly that what we think, matters when it comes to our bodies and health. That trauma is stored in the body and can manifest in all sorts of ways.
Maybe your mum wasn’t at home when you got your first period, and you had to tell your dad instead.
Maybe you were at school and had no pads or tampons available.
Maybe you leaked badly when you got your first bleed and were teased.
Maybe you started bleeding very young, before anyone had the chance to explain what was happening.
Maybe you kept it a secret out of embarrassment.
Maybe you felt such pain that you vomited.
These (and so many more) reasons can contribute to a Menarche experience that leaves wounds which open up, again and again, with every cycle.
Luckily, there’s a lot you can do to help yourself! Creating a Menarche ritual can be a way of initiating yourself into your cycle. Who were you back then? What interests did you have around your Menarche? What (if any) were your thoughts about periods at that time? How would you have liked to have been celebrated (if at all!) at the moment of your first bleed?
If this all seems a bit too woo-woo, consider this: If you have a daughter, niece or any other girl in your life you care about, how would you hope they experience their first bleed? Would you want them to be informed, put at ease and recognised, or alone, scared and confused? Would you want them to feel empowered about their body and the very natural (and amazing) cycle they have, or embarrassed and ashamed?
This is why doing the work on our cycles is so important, because it’s not just for us. It’s for future generations, too.
If you’re struggling with your cycle and would like to see how working through your Menarch can help, schedule your free 30min call with me or check out my menstrual cycle coaching space.