How to stop yourself from losing your sh*t in times of overwhelm

Image: Simran Sood via Unsplash

Imagine you’re at work, having a day where problems mount on top of problems. You skipped lunch, had way too much coffee, you’ve an important presentation to give and your computer’s just decided to freeze. Or, your washing machine has just broken, your neighbours are keeping you up at night with incessant partying and the garage have just given you an astronomical estimate for car repairs. Or, one of your clients has done a disappearing act without paying their invoice and now your social media account has been hacked and you’ve lost your followers.

Life happens, right? Usually, we can cope with the things it throws at us, batting things back like it’s a game of tennis. But what about when we’re over-tired, stressed, hormonally out of balance or premenstrual? Then, you might find yourself on the brink of an anxiety or panic attack, or even burnout.

If your nerves are taking on too much pressure right now, here are some tips that might help:

1. Stop. Immediately.
When you feel yourself edging close to meltdown status, it’s critical to stop. This might look as simple as literally putting your phone down or as dramatic as leaving the building. We (women especially) have a ton of social pressure to people please, which unfortunately for many means overriding our nervous systems so as not to make others feel out of place, uncomfortable or in any other kind of unease. When we do this, our bodies suffer as well as our psyches. Going directly against the nervous system, which is there to protect and alert us to danger, erodes our sense of sovereignty and self-trust. By the time we're feeling flustered, sick and overwhelmed, we're actually in a state of distress and going past the point of no return simply is not worth it - not for anyone, or anything.
You being broken will not do anyone any good. You will not earn any medals for pushing yourself through it and the people around you will be at a disadvantage when you collapse.

2. Breathe
We can't control what happens outside of us, but we can control our reaction to it. And breath will help you to do that. How we breathe affects our nervous system, and when it's under attack, we can use the breath to soothe it. A technique I like to use in times of intensity is called box breathing It’s easy to do and can be done anywhere, discreetly by simply breathing in for a count of 4, holding for 4, exhaling for 4 and holding for 4. There's a ton of other breaths you can use, alternate nostril breathing is a great one, as is simply exhaling for a little longer than your inhale.
Our breath and how we use it can be a way to calm ourselves down or amp ourselves up. It's free, abundant and really makes a difference!

3. Re-evaluate
When something is bringing you so far outside your centre, it’s a sure sign that it needs addressing. Are you sacrificing your physical, mental and emotional health by wanting to please or not wanting to let people down? Do you need to have better boundaries? Finding yourself in overwhelm is an invitation to re-evaluate what your priorities are. Where are your edges and how can you help yourself by communicating to others that you will not go past them? This is a little like having a premenstrual meltdown. It's a sign that something needs tending to!
Protecting your boundaries and energy will help you to avoid spiralling

How do you care for yourself in times of overwhelm and, more importantly, how are you stopping yourself from getting stuck in the same patterns of behaviour time and again?

Curious about how coaching can help you regain control of your life? Schedule your free 30min call with me or check out my menstrual cycle coaching space.