How to give yourself more and actually put yourself first
Image: De’Andre Bush via Unsplash
One of the things I’m hearing most right now with the end of the year approaching, is the desire to rest. We tend to look at Christmas and New Year as a time to wind down, enjoy time off work and be with our loved ones. But the truth is, many spend it stressed out from rushing to buy presents, getting the food in, cooking the food, visiting family and feeling like we’ve actually enjoyed the holidays. The one thing that tends to fall by the wayside is the thing we wanted most of all: to take time for ourselves.
We want time, but the biggest obstacle to that happening is that we don’t have enough of it to give back to ourselves. One of the things I love to work with, is the 1% rule, first coined by the Founders of Red School, Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo-Wurlitzer in their book, Wild Power. The idea, is to give yourself just 1% more of what it is you feel you need (in the book they link it to resting during your period, but I love the idea for the rest of the cycle too). 1% extra feels doable. It’s negligible almost, especially when you consider that:
Giving yourself 1% more of what you need equates to 15 minutes of your day.
I don’t know about you, but I know I have 15 minutes, even on a super busy day. Think about it. How likely is it that you’ll actually spend a whole day reading that novel you’ve been waiting to get your hands on in the break between Christmas and New Years? Or, how likely is it that you’ll really start doing yoga at 6am every morning starting on January 1st?
The thing is, it’s easy to get swept up with a good idea, to feel optimistic and motivated to do the things we want to. But we often berate ourselves for forgetting something we all have to deal with: LIFE!
We all have things that demand our attention - children, jobs, pets, businesses, parents, neighbours, that parcel being delivered right as you’ve stepped into the bath. What if, instead of over-promising and setting yourself up for disappointment, you decided to go just 1% further?
To go back to those examples, how much more likely is it that you can take 15 minutes to open that novel when you’re in-laws are visiting for the holidays? Doesn’t it feel easier to commit to 15 minutes on the yoga mat on January 1st than a whole hour?
Don’t get me wrong. Having goals that feel like a stretch are a great thing, but too often we go too hard, too early and end up giving up. Going just 1% further each time is a way to reach whatever it is you’re aiming for a in a sustainable way. 15 minutes turns to half an hour, to an hour, to more.
How can you give yourself 1% more of what you need?
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