Is It Child Abuse or Good Parenting? The Internet’s Obsession With Mum Shaming

A few days ago, I saw something online that made my blood boil. A woman - another mum - was shaming other mothers for having messy homes, calling it child neglect. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, the comments were even worse. This isn’t an isolated incident. Everywhere you look, from Instagram to Reddit, mums are being ripped apart for their choices: breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, sleep training vs. co-sleeping, working vs. staying home.

And it needs to stop.

The Reality of Online Mum Shaming

Recently, Lily Collins faced a wave of online abuse for welcoming her baby via surrogacy. Strangers. People who have no idea about her circumstances felt the need to comment, judge, and shame her. But it’s not just celebrities. Every day, regular mums get shamed for the most personal decisions. Just look at the comment sections on posts about bottle feeding or sleep training. The language is cruel, the assumptions are ignorant, and the judgment is relentless.

Here’s the thing: no one knows the full story. The mum who isn’t breastfeeding might have had a traumatic birth. The mum whose house isn’t spotless might be juggling work, a baby who doesn’t sleep, and the mental load of a thousand things. The mum who sleep trains might be barely surviving on two hours of sleep a night.

Why Are We Doing This to Each Other?

The ‘sisterhood wound’ runs deep - this idea that we must compete, compare, and prove we’re ‘better’ mums. But why? Why are we directing our frustration at each other instead of lifting each other up?

Motherhood is hard. And the last thing any mum needs is a stranger, or even someone she knows, making her feel like she’s failing.

So, if you ever find yourself typing out a comment that shames another mum, pause. Reread it. Ask yourself, why does this matter to me? Is it helpful? Kind? Would you say it to her face? If the answer is no, don’t send it.

If you’ve been on the receiving end of this, remember: it’s not about you. It’s about them. Their judgment is a reflection of their beliefs, their insecurities, and their experiences. Not yours.

Let them be wrong about you. Keep doing what works for you and your family. And for the love of all that is holy, let’s start supporting each other instead of tearing each other down.

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